The Positive Costume

Halloween happens to be one of my favorite holidays for a variety of reasons.  I have some sentimental value attached to the holiday in addition to the fun of dressing up.  Stepping into a different identity for a short time can be really refreshing.  The act can even help us discover something about ourselves that has been missing from our lives.  For example, I dressed up as a ballerina; it got me thinking about how much I loved dancing when I was younger and how I don't do it enough.  Now I'm feeling compelled to go out and incorporate dancing into my leisure activities.  And so, I've added variety to my life and increased the number of activities to do on my feel good list.  Should it only be once a year that we step outside of our routine selves and possibly find another aspect of joy to add to our lives?  Absolutely not!  Routine has many positive aspects but it can also create boredom; feeling bored is negative.  So I propose that on a more frequent basis we impose a halloween type day or event for ourselves.  Step outside the box. Experience life in a new way; you never know what you might find and who it could make you become.  The next great you might be a costume change away.  Happy Halloween!

P.S. I love indulging in candy on Halloween (and any other chance I get) but I'm not always feeling so positive about myself after the sugar rush ends.  For tips and advice on loving your candy and body check out this blog: http://nutrishlin.wordpress.com 

website!

Sorry for not having posted in forever...I have been feverishly redesigning my website...take a look!
www.bethsmolen.com

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Chasing what chases you.

There are so many sayings about the idea of "chasing" or "working hard" to get something.  One major belief is that if something doesn't present itself as a challenge then its probably not going to be very satisfying when it is received.  This is certainly true in some cases.  The more work we put into getting to that goal, the greater amount of satisfaction we feel.  For example, studying for a licensing exam is generally a task that people will put their sweat and tears into.  When passing results are received, people go into an understandably euphoric state because the dream they were chasing became a reality.  What about when it comes to the relationship world?  Does chasing or working hard have the same applications? Before I give my thoughts on that, I'd just like to preface this whole post with the fact that I'm a big believer on working hard, feeling stressed and working through less than pleasant conditions to see achievement.  I also believe that not every undertaking is worth someone's time.  What I mean by this is that when you set a goal in mind, whatever it may be, the path you travel through to achieve the goal may be difficult, but as long as there are some encouraging markers along the way then you are on the right track.  To apply this to my licensing exam example: you may have lost tens of hours of valuable sleep, not eaten so well, felt stressed and neglected other areas of life; but if you were also learning new information, solidifying the material in your mind and feeling productive (even at the slightest bit) then the end is worth the means.  Now, lets look at any type of relationship through the same lens.  You are trying to reconnect with an old friend.  Scenario 1: you and old friend are trying to make plans but you keep missing each others calls.  Then when you finally speak your schedules are totally off.  For weeks or months you cannot find a time that works for both of you, yet there is effort on both your parts to try to make a plan.  This chasing is frustrating, but is double sided, so both parties are taking an interest in working toward the same goal.  Scenario 2: you and old friend are trying to make plans.  You are doing all the calling, he doesn't pick up the calls and is not calling back.  Maybe you make a plan, but he cancels last minute and doesn't suggest trying to reschedule.  This is single sided chasing.  This same scenario can also be applied to romantic relationships as well.  Point is, during this journey to meet the end goal of having a plan, if you are experiencing challenges but so is the other party, then at least you can see the positive in that both of you are working with the same goal in mind.  However, if you are working hard toward making plans that the other party has no interest in, where is that bit of encouragement that tells you to pursue this goal further?  It isn't there.  This goal is not worth your effort.  Chasing is perfectly fine.  Getting what you want can take work.  Just always be sure to find the positivity or encouragement that justifies any chasing at all.

Achievement

Achievement no matter how big or small is still the result of accomplishing something.  Let go of any hang ups about the magnitude of achievement; just get it done.

Everything Happens for a Reason- My Way

Everything happens for a reason is one of the sayings that I live my life by.  I cannot express how absolutely valid this statement is when it comes to almost any situation.  I remember once using the expression when I was driving in the car with someone and he made a wrong turn.  I tried to explain that there was some sort of reason as to why it wasn't meant that we initially turn in the right direction; he said that this situation wasn't applicable and that it was just a thoughtless act on his part.  I came back with a bunch of examples as to why it may have been a good thing that we didn't make the correct turn at first (clearly positivb is always trying to find the positive points of every situation).  Whether or not it was meant that we drive the wrong way isn't so much the point I'm trying to make.  While I'll live and die by "Everything Happens for a Reason" I won't do so blindly.  What do I mean by this?  Well I simply won't sit comfortably thinking that there's some reason as to why life occurs as it does; I'm proactive so I seek out the reason or possibilities as to why certain things happens and certain things don't.  I feel it is not enough to just passively agree to the "its meant to be reasoning," you must find or at least attempt to create an understanding about a situation where the above saying is used.  After all, any experience has a learning component; so allow yourself to grow and gain understanding from life's twists and turns by taking a proactive approach to "Everything Happens for a Reason."  Today's wrong turn may lead to tomorrows great success; find the meaning behind the mistake.

A Thought

Acting out of character can remind us of who we truly are; or give us clarity as to who we want to be.

Positive Identity

I'm starting to see an unintentional theme in my last few entries.  It seems that I'm discussing the transition from negativity (or feeling not so positive) to a more positive point of view.  So now I'm thinking about the catalyst that puts us in that positive place.  I've discovered that the fuel which drives someone into a better mental state is very different for everyone.  Some people need to be surrounded by those who are upbeat to transition themselves into that feeling.  Others need their own time to process and talk themselves into a better frame of mind.  Maybe its making a change in routine, or talking to a certain someone that causes your mood to shift.  Whatever it may be try to recognize it.  Try to identify that moment or situation in which you feel yourself transition into that lighter side of yourself; that place where you're feeling happy, able and ready to take on what comes next.  This is what I'd like to call your positive identity.  Your unique formula for getting yourself to feel well again.  Take your personal recipe for positivity and keep it handy for a healthier you.