Procrastination's best friend- Accountability

"I'll do it tomorrow."  "I'll start in an hour."  "Just 5 more minutes."  You've all probably found yourselves saying phrases like this throughout life.  Procrastination is rooted deeply in all of them.  Most teachers or bosses try to instill that procrastination is bad for us.  I disagree.  I think it depends on how you operate under pressure.  Over the years I've found that anything I turned out, when produced in a minimally pressured situation was not always my best work.  I thrive under pressure.  If there's a deadline to be met, I never question if I will actually get X done; it will be done, and done well with the added stress from time constraints.  I suppose I'm lucky in this way.  I know several other people who also benefit from pressurized situations.  However, I also know other people who shut down or freak out when pressure exists.  Clearly procrastinating is the enemy for this group and should be avoided.  But back to my fellow pro- procrastination people, yes we're lucky enough to be able to take that extra 15 minute break but still get the job done, but there are specific conditions when procrastination is bad for us as well.  Think back to school when the paper was due at 8 AM, it was 1 AM that morning and you had nothing more than an intro paragraph on your computer screen.  So you grabbed some Redbull and Skittles (I've never been able to look at skittles the same after one all nighter) and you chugged out a work of art by 8 AM that morning.  Victory!  You beat the odds and everyone who doubted a 15 page paper could be produced in that amount of time.  You raced the clock and won.  Let's change the scenario a bit: You had a 15 page paper to write, and no deadline at all.  Maybe you had given yourself a deadline of 2 weeks to write it, but you were the only person who you had to answer to in this matter.
Me: Gosh I've just been really busy these past two weeks, I can't meet this two week deadline.
Me: Okay, no problem.  As much time as you need.
There's no race against the clock here.  There's no pressure on your back for completion.  There's no stress motivating you to push forward under the gun.  Procrastination wins here- not you.  What am I getting at?  The key ingredient to being an effective procrastinator is having some type of accountability. Unless you are really afraid of yourself, making you the voice to answer to simply does not work.  I know that I was only able to make strides toward changing my career when I began working with a life coach.  I had tried to motivate myself on my own, and as rah rah as I am, I simply could not produce results.  But, when I had someone to answer to, someone setting deadlines and goals for me, it was a whole different ball game.  I HAD TO GET THINGS DONE.  tI was honestly too embarrassed to present a sub-par excuse about not completing different tasks.  So what if my motivation wasn't self driven?  I achieved what needed to be done because accountability was in the picture.  So find some accountability and then procrastinate happily!

Thanksgiving

What I find to be most thankful for are those things I take for granted.  What do you take for granted?  What are you thankful for?  There is always something, though not always apparent that is a blessing in our lives.  Take the time to recognize one thing you feel lucky to have.  Gratitude is filled with limitless positivity.  Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for all of you who read my blog :)

Sunday Brunch for Thought #2

I realize that it's a bit past brunch time, but work with me anyway.  Again another pearl of genius from Larry Winget's novel Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life comes this Sunday's food for thought...

"Stress comes from knowing what is right and doing what is wrong."

One word- ABSOLUTELY!  We beat ourselves up inside the hardest when we consciously know we are doing the wrong thing.  The ugly result of this is stress.  So what lesson do we take away from this?  We can avoid stress if we just do the right thing.  Easy? Not always.  Effective at stress elimination?  Undoubtedly so.  I'm a big fan of doing anything to avoid wrinkles (stress' physical mark on our bodies).  Take the face-lift off your 50 year to-do list, and act accordingly.

You're Never Too Old To Dance on a Couch

I just got back from a Miami vacation.  I absolutely love that place!  It's like my home away from home being that I'm so familiar with it and some of my amazing friends live there.  Miami is also the home to one of my favorite dance spots in the world- MYNT.  The music is just perfect there and I HAVE to dance from the moment I step inside.  My girlfriends and I are big picture takers.  We love to document all of these special occasions- and yes we may overdo the photos at times, but at least we will always have the memories.  I posted this weekend's album on facebook and I immediately got a few comments from people like "gee looks like you had a GOOD time" but not in a sincere or jealous voice.  This statement was said in a disapproving tone.  I looked back at the album and wondered what was so scandalous about the pictures I posted?  All I could see that may have looked a little "wild" was one photo from a bachelorette party I went to; in the photo there was a hot pink male body part.  Is that so offensive and crazy?  It was a BACHELORETTE PARTY after all!  Then there are a few pictures of my friends and I standing on the couches in the night club.  Does standing on a couch really scream out- CRAZY, OUT OF CONTROL, REBELLIOUS PERSON?  I'll be honest- it gets pretty crowded in these venues and so instead of being knocked into and having my tan suede shoes ruined by a cranberry juice based drink, I avoid the pushing, shoving, toe-stepping-on, and spillage by taking a step up to safety (aka the couch).  I like it up there.  It's more airy, roomy and I have a great view.  Standing on the couch allows me to focus on and enjoy the music and experience in general.  It helps me have more fun.  Does that mark me as an irresponsible, wreck-less, immature person? Absolutely not.  When was an age limit imposed on enjoying yourself?  The answer is: it wasn't; however it seems that an unwritten code exists saying it is wrong to have too much fun after a certain age.  I'll qualify that too much fun could fall in the category of truly wreck-less behaviors such as drug use or any illegal activity. But last I checked standing on a piece of furniture or staying out late doesn't put me at risk for arrest.  Recently I've been attending/reading a lot about bringing back enjoyment/fun to adult life.  It really saddens me that as we get older our levels of fun seem to diminish.  And then after being starved of this fun, we try to bring it back to our lives at full force.  Often times bad situations occur because we push the limits as we try to achieve that ultimate experience.  Denying yourself fun is like going on an extreme diet.  Maybe you'll stick to it for a while, but after a certain period of time you'll give in and binge on what you've been missing.  Why live a life so out of balance?  Go ahead and enjoy yourself!  Do the things that bring you joy no matter how silly or out of current character they may seem.  Those who judge you are probably just jealous or angry from a lack of fun in their lives.  Dancing on a couch doesn't make you an immature person; but trying to sabotage someone's fun does.

You Can't Give to Get

Have you ever heard of the theory that there are no selfless acts?  I can sum it up by saying that there's a notion which says that the personal satisfaction you get from doing something good for another person takes away the element of selflessness because you feel enjoyment.  For example, I pick up my friend from the roadside after her car breaks down.  The theory would say that I might feel good about helping my friend and that good feeling negates the selfless act.  I guess Mother Theresa was nothing more than an over indulgent self satisfier in her day- but I digress.  Feeling good about helping someone is not so much an issue.  What is an issue is that people will do favors for other people with the expectation of reciprocation. (I know those are fancy words but I enjoy a rhyme every now and then)  This type of thought is plain unfair and truly negates the act of doing a good deed.  All too often I hear people complain about how much they go out of their way for xyz person and then when the tables are turned the same help doesn't occur.  If you are looking to depend on people when you are in a bind there is a simple answer- GET DEPENDABLE FRIENDS.  Offering help/doing favors has no implication that the same will be done for you.  So unless you're having potential helpees (you being the helper) sign contracts stating that helping is a reciprocal action, there is no guarantee that Joe will come help change your tire even though you helped him last week.  There is no direct or indirect correlation between how much help you give and receive.  So help 1 or 100 people- whatever feels right to you.  Give freely, give generously, give happily...just understand that you aren't subliminally helping yourself by helping others.

Planning the Positive

I'm a huge planner!  I like to have a specific idea of what I will be doing...when I'll be doing it...and all the logistics in place from A to Z.  This skill has been truly helpful in my life and I don't really need to explain why.  However, being the proverbial planner does have its downsides.  I'm rarely spontaneous or unexpected.  It's very difficult for me to do the whole go with the flow thing- but in the last few years I have been trying to work on this.  The attempt to be more spontaneous got me thinking about what other problems being a planner could have caused.  In some of my posts I mentioned that I'm an instant gratification person.  This quality definitely played a role in me being a planner.  If I make a logical plan then there's no reason why the end result shouldn't occur at the very moment it's supposed to right? WRONG! All my steadfast planning pals know how frustrating, disappointing, aggravating and upsetting it is when a plan doesn't work out properly.  Maybe the plan had some holes?  Maybe it was built on a weak foundation? Maybe it was truly unrealistic but we ignored that factor?  However when it doesn't work out- the point is just that.  Then the distraught planner is left to pick up the pieces and figure out how to calmly continue on without ripping a chuck of hair out.  What's the answer?  Stop planning altogether?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!  That action would be too much for a planner to handle.  Rather, make your plan, but leave some gaps.  Create a few outcome choices.  Give more time buffers.  Make the plan realistic.  If you are surrounded with people who only plan, go find some free spirited humans and hang around them for a while.  You'll find that no matter how hard you try to plan and execute, nothing goes according to plan when one party wants to chase the wind.  I've been lucky to have some close people in my life who like to plan NOT to plan.  This has taught me so much and normalized me a bit more. The whole point is to avoid trapping ourselves in the discouraged/negative zone when the plan doesn't work.  So make your plan and then plan for it not to be followed to a "T."  Your sanity will thank you tenfold.

Believing in Luck v. Making it

When it comes to "luck" there are two main beliefs.  One thought is that it simply comes to you in the form of an effortless "gift"; the other is that you are responsible for the luck occurring.  While these two theories seem like they stand on opposite ends of the fence, I like to look at luck as a fusion of the two.  What do I mean by this?  Well when good things come to us we often just concentrate on the "thing" itself and not what brought this luck to us.  When you believe in luck it is likely that you are a positive person.  You are probably emitting a positive energy which is felt by others around you.  This energy will create more favorable situations for you- this idea is expanded upon in the book The Secret.  So when you believe in luck, you're radiating good energy and making conditions for lucky instances to occur.  I'll illustrate this theory with a clear example.  As you may have seen from many of my other blogs I like to use the whole "getting a job" situation as illustration points simply because it is easy to relate to and rather applicable to our economic times.  So you're in the market for a job.  Maybe you're unemployed or currently working but either way you're looking for a change.  It's tough out there (sorry to state the obvious); but despite the conditions you're staying positive thinking that something good will come your way.  In your mind you are thinking that you'll find luck in your job search.  This translates into you walking around happy, optimistic and more importantly not depressed and negative about the situation.  Maybe you're at a department store and start talking to a random shopper standing next to you in line.  The positive energy inside you makes you attractive to the person you're speaking to (not necessarily in a sexual way).  This person enjoys the interaction simply because of your good vibes which stem from your belief in luck.  Maybe during the conversation it comes up that you're looking for a job.  In two weeks maybe you get a call from the very person you spoke to at the mall saying a good friend of hers is looking to fill a position at her company. Then BOOM you're at an interview and get the job.  Your positive energy from belief that luck will come made this situation possible; essentially you made the luck from your belief in it.  So next time you see someone "effortlessly" finding himself in favorable (or lucky) situations evaluate how positive this person is; chances are this isn't some strange cosmic coincidence.  

Become Great from Becoming Uncomfortable

I just came back from a long weekend of the Tony Robbins seminar Unleash the Power Within.  It was  really great; I learned a lot of valuable life lessons.  One I must share is the secret to making a change- it's the act of getting uncomfortable.  Think of a situation in your life which you would like to be different.  Lets say its your job.  You're a receptionist at a dentist's office.  You've been working there for 2 years and you realize that you have more potential than this.  But the job pays the bills and you're comfortable there.   You have thought about starting that business you thought of last year, but never made any moves toward that.  There's no burning motivation to make the change, so you don't  make it.  Let's say though you walk in one day and your boss tells you that you're no longer allowed to sit down for the work day and that he's cutting your pay by 25%.  Not so comfortable anymore right?  Now you're probably really reassessing whether or not you should be working there.  Chances are that you'll be considering starting that business much more seriously now; or at least looking for what better options exist for you.  When humans experience discomfort they are much more likely to seek out options which diminish the pain.  So maybe your boss won't take you chair away tomorrow; but you can be in charge of creating the discomfort.  Set a higher standard, make a new goal, find some factor that creates enough friction inside you which sparks you to take action.  The old adage "no pain, no gain" couldn't be anymore true.  Make that your new motto for becoming outstanding.

A Brilliant Bit

Larry Winget author of Shut Up, Stop Whining and Get a Life is a book that I HIGHLY RECOMMEND...I love the tough love tell it like it is approach.  One of the most amazing quotes in the book is...

"In order to make positive changes in your life, you first have to get negative about your life."

Think about this one for some Sunday brunch for thought.  Lots of posts this week- PROMISE!