It Is What It Is

"It is what it is" has come to be a common statement in today's lingo.  As dull, honest and direct the statement it...well, it is what it is.  So what does this mean and how can we make this a little better for ourselves?  Essentially the statement means that a situation is sometimes unable to be significantly changed for the better.  So unfortunately you may find yourself stuck with undesirable circumstances.  But don't cry out in despair yet, because there are a few things that can be done to add some levity (and perhaps relief) to your situation:
1. stop reinforcing that your situation is bad; this will only make things seem worse
2. find anything recently positive you experienced and remind yourself of that; it can be as simple as saying wow my cup of coffee this morning was extra good
3. create something good in the situation for yourself; anything goes here, even making up an immature joke in your head about something going on around you

It is what it is forces you to accept the situation you are currently in; however it does not mean that something (even something small) can be done to better your mood.  So take a little action, dig up a little positive energy and end your day laughing at "it is what it is."

Sunday Brunch for Thought

For the most part when we recall the details of our day to someone we focus on the negative points.  Someone cut you off, your boss yelled at you, a series of 12 paper cuts on the same finger etc.  What if instead you focus on the good points of your day.  Revolutionary.  At the end of your day think (or talk) about everything good that occured.  Instead of wallowing in your frustration, embrace some happiness/gratefulness.  Realizing that good things are happening to you on a daily basis is a certain way of adding positivity to your life.

It's Meant to Be

Just recently I heard the sweetest story about two Argentinian guys who were best friends in their younger years. In third grade though, one of them moved to Israel with his family.  At that time cell phones and computers were not used as they are today so they lost touch.  Then in high school it happened that the other boy also moved with his family to the same area in Israel that his best friend had moved to years before.  The two reunited as they found each other in a freshman homeroom class; they have been inseparable ever since.  Then there's the story of my favorite married couple/ two of my best friends Jonathan and Michele Silverman.  Meeting in the sandbox at the age of three was the beginning for these two.  They went on to be each others first boy/girlfriend.  After a high school romance they broke up and dated other people.  Through the college years they remained in touch, drifting in and out of each others lives from time to time.  Then just before they turned 30 they reunited romantically, having realized that after searching far and wide there was no better match out there.  I have so many other stories that I could share, but my point is pretty clear here- some things are just meant to be.  The idea of fate can be scary to a lot of us.  Do we really not have any control of the outcome of our lives?  While I wouldn't go that far, there is certainly a lesson that can be taken from this idea of "meant to be."  Sometimes we find ourselves wanting something, someone or some sort of outcome to occur in our lives.  We want that thing so badly that we use a significant amount of effort (basically way too much) to try to attain what we want.  With the idea of "meant to be" in mind, we can save ourselves a tremendous amount of unsuccessful effort.  Yes life requires effort.  No, you cannot lie in your bed and expect fate to take you through life.  However, if you find yourself using an unnatural amount of force to try and achieve something, perhaps it is just not supposed to happen for you.  This is a certainly a difficult idea to accept; but if you also take into account that life is not supposed to be painstakingly hard it makes sense.  If you are meant to go down a certain path or be with a certain person, chances are that  you will find yourself in that place without going through a war to get there.  Living life is a combination of making something of everyday and allowing things to fall into place as they should.

Millionaire Matchmaker Shout-Out

"But there's one thing I know for sure, if it feels wrong, don't do it."- Patti Stanger

Sunday Brunch for Thought

This bit of brilliance was inspired by a conversation I had an hour ago.  We have to face it- people are annoying.  They get on your nerves.  You may often want to run away from them.  You may also wonder how they can behave in such an irritating fashion.  Well guess what?  You're a person too.  You are probably guilty of this annoying behavior.  So cut your fellow annoying human being some slack.  You probably got on someone's nerves at one point this past week as well.  Enjoy :)

So What's Your Plan?

It's 5 days into the new year.  In my last post I discussed your new years resolutions and how to attach more weight to them so that failure seems worse than normal.  Now the next and perhaps more important question must be addressed- how will you ensure that you don't fail?  You need a plan!  Not just any plan- a plan that you can actually execute and commit to.  A plan that keeps you motivated.  A plan that holds you accountable.  A plan that pushes you to achieve; but doesn't place unreasonable expectations on what can be achieved in a given time frame.  Your plan is essential to success.  I've mentioned in posts before that having yourself as the sole participant in your plan is risky.  When there is no one to answer to but yourself, cutting some extra slack or just slacking off in general is rather easy and likely.  Did you ever notice that taking a class at the gym is much more motivating than when you work out on your own?  As humans competition is a natural part of our behavior.  So during a spin class seeing other humans around you sticking with the steep hill climb is what will keep you going; no one wants to feel like less of a competitor.  So grab a workout buddy, or if you know another person trying to lose weight for the new year, partner up!  If you're looking to read more, join a book club. Have a family member or mentor hold you accountable for your plan.  Or seek the help of a life coach if you want an independent party to organize, motivate and push you toward your success.  When there's another force involved in helping create your success, your probability of achievement increases.  Don't sell yourself short- create a solid plan.  Realizing your resolutions is much easier than you think.  Strategize and succeed.

Your Most Important New Years Resolution

Happy New Year! 2011 has just begun and is filled with endless possibilities.  Most of you have probably come up with a few resolutions for this year; and being that 2011 has just started, your enthusiasm to achieve is high.  However, as most of us know, our dedication to these resolutions diminishes, often within the first few weeks of the new year.  Why?  Well many of us have forgotten to make the most important resolution of all- Resolve to accomplish your resolutions.  Though seemingly redundant, this technique will actually help increase the chance that your set of 2011 "to do's" get done.  Why?  Well for starters, not only do you have the particular goal to accomplish, but you have the goal of accomplishing your goal in the mix.  I'll illustrate through the classic example of weight loss.  You want to lose 15 lbs by spring.  So there's goal #1.  Now, since you also vowed to accomplish all your goals, the act of accomplishing is a resolution itself.  So, 15 lbs lighter, not only did you lose weight, but you also achieved in general- that's two accomplishments.  If you fail to lose the weight, and then fail your goal as a whole, well my friend thats two failures.  For those of us who do not accept failure, attaching extra weight to failure can push us toward success more easily.  Another way to think of it, is that achieving, and achieving the goal is a double win; the opposite is a double lose.  Do you really want to be a bigger loser?  Hopefully not, so make losing a little more painful by resolving to resolve.  Making accomplishment  its own resolution will require you to strategize how you will achieve each individual resolution.  When a plan or course is mapped out for success, executing and succeeding becomes much more likely.  So for today's Sunday Brunch for Thought, think about and plan how you will achieve each resolution; then make achievement your umbrella resolution.  A mindset for success is the key ingredient for winning.