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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Be Clear with Fear

So as most of you know I'm currently in San Diego getting my NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) licensing.  I've just completed day 4 and I am so flooded with amazing new information/techniques to use in my coaching; it's really exciting.  All the different workshop possibilities this course will allow me to do are going to be great, but I digress.... So this trip involved me flying out to California alone and staying here for 12 days.  I don't know anyone out here and I've never been here before.  I've also never travelled by myself.  Aside from the fact that this licensing is ultra important to me, the actual conditions surrounding the trip were really scary.  I like being around people, especially when I'm traveling.  The whole idea of being alone for 12 days was really frightening me.  Not to mention everyone acknowledged that while it was a really brave move on my part and that I'd love California (which so far I'm enjoying) it was a long while to be gone by myself.  These remarks didn't do too much to help me feel better about the situation.  I have to give an honorable mention to my mother (who I love the most of anyone) with her constant "Beth you don't have to go" or "cancel the trip, I'm afraid for you,"  I just wasn't finding too much reassurance anywhere.  But January 21st came, and although my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, I almost cried, I nearly lost the keys that unlock my luggage in the back seat of the cab to the airport, and finally the airline tried to tell me that I had already boarded the plane when I arrived at the gate (which I took to be the last obstacle from getting me to California aside from a plane crash) I successfully made it to California.  I could not be happier to be here.  This experience is changing me in so many ways.  Professionally I am gaining some amazing tools that will better my work; but personally this trip is making me a new person.  Why?  Well I've essentially dealt with a huge fear (traveling alone) and conquered that.  I could have easily backed out of going on the trip.  I could have found a different NLP course located in New York.  I didn't do this though because I knew the quality of the education would not be as superb.  So I acknowledged that I was afraid of the situation, but I did not let that stop me.  What's my message here?  Being afraid is perfectly fine, but being paralyzed by your fear is not.  Life is full of unknowns.  Even things/situations/people who we have come to become comfortable with may change at any given moment and then we have to re-adapt.  Human nature lends itself toward a desire for consistency.  Change/the unknown are undoubtedly scary.  But how many times have you tried something new and it hasn't killed you?  Often, we build these unknown situations up in our minds to be much worse than they are.  Having been away now for a few days on my own, I am doing just fine.  When I plan my next trip it will probably be with another person; however traveling solo is something that I now know I am capable of.  I've conquered this fear.  I've won.  Don't let fear stop you from doing/leading a life that you want.  No matter how scary, unless a situation is placing you in true mortal danger (in which case I do recommend reevaluating) be confident that you can beat fear.  Remember that what lies beyond that fear will enhance your life in some way.  And I'd like to reiterate that everything happens for a reason.  So if you've found yourself in a place where change is occurring or a new situation presents unknowns that scare you, acknowledge the fear, muster up some courage and press on.  When it comes to fear, winning is the only option; losing is for losers.

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