Beating the Post Vacation Blues

Sorry this post is coming so late!  Last week I returned home (NY) from San Diego....rather I returned from a consistently sunny, dry 74 degrees daily to a frozen over 24 degree Artic conditions zone.  While I was away, my friends and family said "not to come back" all in a joking fashion, but I knew that I was headed for disappointment when I boarded my plane back to New York.  Now I absolutely love NY; I don't think I can see myself living anywhere else.  I've done my fair share of traveling and visited some great places, but overall none compare to my NY and I've accepted this.  But, was coming home from "happiness" weather to "gloomy" weather difficult for me?  Absolutely.  I call this "post vacation blues."  I know most if not all of you are familiar with this feeling.  Think about how much you want to escape everything just days before you are about to go away.  Now when you finally return from that trip, chances are getting back into the daily grind will be substantially more difficult (and perhaps depressing) than before you left.  If you've had the vacation from hell, returning home will be joyous, but for the rest of us it can be plain difficult to resume normal life.  So how do we combat this?  Well if you love your home like I do, or at the very least find some aspects enjoyable (and being that you live there I'm sure there are elements you love) then returning back means rediscovering or reminding yourself why you've chosen to live in this location.  This means go to your favorite restaurant or get your favorite take-out.  Get together with friends for a fun night out.  Do the activities you enjoy the most ie visit a museum, sporting event or go to your favorite store for some retail therapy.  The point is, reunite yourself with all the aspects of home that make it amazing; remind yourself of all the joy that is there.  Wallowing in sadness and constantly reminding yourself of how much better your life was a week ago while you were away will only further depress you.  Unless you've returned home from Mykonos, Acapulco or Paris to collect your belongings for relocation,  the end of a trip is just that (it's not the end of your life).  So take your vacation, enjoy yourself and then fall in love with where you live.

Sunday Brunch for Thought

Hi everyone!  So having come back from sunny, warm, dry California to literally frozen over New York has been quite a change.  It's crazy how weather affects the way you feel about life and day to day activities.  The term "post vacation depression" is pretty familiar now a days, especially when people from colder climates return from their tropical vacations.  How do you combat the after vacation blues?

Reward Yourself

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A REAL Fresh Start

How many times have you decided that you were going to get "a fresh start" with X thing.  Maybe its a career, relationship, diet, lifestyle etc., but regardless of whatever it is there is something compelling you to start over.  You're feeling psyched, motivated and ready to take on the world.  Then something odd happens where one day you realize that you are in the exact same (or very similar) situation that you've already experienced.  How did this happen?  How did I wind up here again?  What happened to my whole "fresh start" approach?  You suddenly feel like Lindsay Lohan on her third failed attempt at sobriety after half a year in rehab.  (Please note I am not bashing Lindsay, she just serves as a great illustration of my point.  In fact Lindsay I'd like to thank you for helping clarify this point to my readers so accurately.)  Anyhow, so now it turns out that this fresh start was really just you repeating the same scenario.  Maybe there were a few new parts of the situation, but overall it's the same.  So was this really a fresh start?  Fresh indicates new, untested, not yet experienced or tried methods, strategies or paths you would take when dealing with a situation.  If you said you were going to get a fresh start with dating but ended up dating the same person as your previous relationship (with a different face or perhaps it was even the exact same person!) then clearly there's no fresh start there.  You were getting a fresh start in the job hunt, but as it turns out you applied the same methods to applying to positions as you had last time around- then no fresh start there either.  You were going to get a fresh start with dieting, but did the same diet and exercise plan then of course you did not get a fresh start.  A fresh start means you are taking a new approach or initiative to a situation; just because you let time go by does not mean anything is fresh (except the date on which you began to repeat these behaviors.)  So when you're on this whole fresh start kick make sure you are actually doing something "fresh," "new," or "different."  You'll be quite  thrilled to get rid of the "deja vu" feeling and surprised at the results you'll see.

Sunday Brunch for Thought

Blogging live from sunny San Diego, I'd like to put two questions out to the readers (and please respond!) as today's brunch entree:

What does a fresh start mean to you?

and for dessert:

Have you ever thought that you "fresh" on some endeavor only to find yourself in deja vu?

Tomorrow I'll follow up with a post on these topics...happy brunching!

Be Clear with Fear

So as most of you know I'm currently in San Diego getting my NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) licensing.  I've just completed day 4 and I am so flooded with amazing new information/techniques to use in my coaching; it's really exciting.  All the different workshop possibilities this course will allow me to do are going to be great, but I digress.... So this trip involved me flying out to California alone and staying here for 12 days.  I don't know anyone out here and I've never been here before.  I've also never travelled by myself.  Aside from the fact that this licensing is ultra important to me, the actual conditions surrounding the trip were really scary.  I like being around people, especially when I'm traveling.  The whole idea of being alone for 12 days was really frightening me.  Not to mention everyone acknowledged that while it was a really brave move on my part and that I'd love California (which so far I'm enjoying) it was a long while to be gone by myself.  These remarks didn't do too much to help me feel better about the situation.  I have to give an honorable mention to my mother (who I love the most of anyone) with her constant "Beth you don't have to go" or "cancel the trip, I'm afraid for you,"  I just wasn't finding too much reassurance anywhere.  But January 21st came, and although my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, I almost cried, I nearly lost the keys that unlock my luggage in the back seat of the cab to the airport, and finally the airline tried to tell me that I had already boarded the plane when I arrived at the gate (which I took to be the last obstacle from getting me to California aside from a plane crash) I successfully made it to California.  I could not be happier to be here.  This experience is changing me in so many ways.  Professionally I am gaining some amazing tools that will better my work; but personally this trip is making me a new person.  Why?  Well I've essentially dealt with a huge fear (traveling alone) and conquered that.  I could have easily backed out of going on the trip.  I could have found a different NLP course located in New York.  I didn't do this though because I knew the quality of the education would not be as superb.  So I acknowledged that I was afraid of the situation, but I did not let that stop me.  What's my message here?  Being afraid is perfectly fine, but being paralyzed by your fear is not.  Life is full of unknowns.  Even things/situations/people who we have come to become comfortable with may change at any given moment and then we have to re-adapt.  Human nature lends itself toward a desire for consistency.  Change/the unknown are undoubtedly scary.  But how many times have you tried something new and it hasn't killed you?  Often, we build these unknown situations up in our minds to be much worse than they are.  Having been away now for a few days on my own, I am doing just fine.  When I plan my next trip it will probably be with another person; however traveling solo is something that I now know I am capable of.  I've conquered this fear.  I've won.  Don't let fear stop you from doing/leading a life that you want.  No matter how scary, unless a situation is placing you in true mortal danger (in which case I do recommend reevaluating) be confident that you can beat fear.  Remember that what lies beyond that fear will enhance your life in some way.  And I'd like to reiterate that everything happens for a reason.  So if you've found yourself in a place where change is occurring or a new situation presents unknowns that scare you, acknowledge the fear, muster up some courage and press on.  When it comes to fear, winning is the only option; losing is for losers.

A Tribute to Erin Veltman

I am truly lucky to be surrounded by so many amazing people; I know I constantly bring this up.  I’m not much of a bragger about any other aspect of my life, but my family and friends are just great.  One standout woman who I’m making this post a tribute to is Erin Veltman.  I really don’t know where to begin.  I guess I can start with strength.  Her strength is quite unlike anyone else’s I’ve ever known.  She makes the seemingly impossible look pretty easy.  At her young age having conquered more obstacles than most of us, her strength is just incredible.  Not to mention her perseverance.  She has always taken opportunities to engage in a challenge or go the extra mile.  The tasks are never easy and neither is the work she has to put in to get the desired results.  But those results appear.  Her resourcesfull nature is undoubtedly a huge part of her success.  I can recall discussions between her and I where a certain situation was presenting more of an obstacle than anticipated.  Brainstorming with her is amazing because she’s ready to step outside of the box, go beyond the normal means, but also stays in the realm of realistic.  Her ability at this is a true art.  While much of this tribute has lent itself to the professional side of Erin, as a friend she is unmatched.  I’m in the process of trying to pursuede Merriam- Webster to put her face next to loyal in the dictionary.  When Erin labels herself as your friend, you have someone you can always count on.  While she and I have been separated by state lines on and off for the past few years, the distance hasn’t seemed to affect her loyalty.  I know that when I need her she will be there.  That reassuring support makes me a stronger person.  I know her other friends feel this way about her too; her friendship is invaluable to anyone lucky enough to receive it.  Watching and knowing Erin for all these years has given me a standard to measure greatness against.  Everything about her is an inspiration; she is a true heroine.  Seeing her achievements has given me hope, confidence and a framework as to how I can make myself great.  Maybe it’s selfish that I get all these amazing perks from having Erin as an integral part of my life, but I’d like to just think I’m really lucky….really lucky to be blessed with Erin.

Last night I arrived in San Diego to begin my NLP certifcation.  I will be doing posts about my experience here which is different from the normal theme of my posts, but not to worry positivity will continue in theme.  Erin was pretty much the reason that I’ve found myself in sunny California this morning about to do something that will enhance my life immensely.  Thank you my dear, I love you so much!